BEING A LIBERAL IN A RED STATE

THE LONELINESS OF BEING A LIBERAL DEMOCRAT LIVING IN A RED STATE.

I was raised in a conservative Republican household. More conservative to outsiders than actually in my home but I was raised with a more or less conservative lifestyle. A little background though, my mother and I were on our own until I was about 5 or 6 and although I have very few memories of those days all of the ones I have now did not represent a conservative life. It wasn't until my mother married that things changed as far as what our lives were customized to. I began going to a baptist church with my new grandmother and my new dad's brother and sister as well as their extended family. Words I was able to use up until then was  no longer available to me because it would either offend or embarrass. So, yes, there are quite a few rules to this conservative Republican lifestyle. I didn't even realize that I was being raised this way because everyone else I knew or grew up with had the exact same background. I didn't even realized there was another way to live until I graduated from high school and began college. This is where I found out more about the world other than the little shelter I was raised in and where I found that I didn't want to live like that any longer.

When I was 18, I discovered everything I had learned about history and government in all my years of school was so biased and a big part was completely wrong. I also found that I had a compassionate side, which even though I was for the most part kind to others, I didn't know you could be more than kind to others. It was also after I finished high school and went on to college that I began to learn about the "other" party. The Democratic party just wasn't really talked about in my house, and also not really talked about in my school years either. College brought to me a bunch of firsts with politics being one of them. (We'll discuss religion in a different blog because I am already going to be deemed a pariah to all those lovely conservative Christian Republicans). 

It began to become awkward and inwardly embarrassing to me to discuss politics with my family once I began taking government and history courses in college. I was learning things like the Civil War, who was actually the very first President, what a Democrat meant, what Socialism meant, civil rights. These things felt like I was learning something entirely new and it was exciting. I had professors who were excited about the subjects and I found myself eating it all up. I became excited about it as well and then....only after my first semester introduction to college I found myself becoming depressed. So, as many kids that age who can't deal with growing up and handle all the enormous responsibility I just quit taking the tests. I would go to my government and history classes but those were the only ones and I wouldn't take a test. Needless to say I flunked out. But.....I was still introduced to a new thinking and I was okay with just that at the time. 

After my first stint in college I went on to get married and have a couple of children. We were completely opposite of each other and I found that I had married someone who had absolutely no interest in politics or religion. We divorced a couple of years later but then my desire to go back to school began again. So, I found myself enrolled again and this time I loaded myself with more political sciences and history classes. It was during this time I started becoming interested in civil rights and would read anything that had to do with the subject. In classes though, many of my fellow classmates were making  me sick by their comments. I was in a class divided and most days I would leave pissed off but still learning. I also found that I couldn't talk to anyone other than 1 of my friends and none of my family. No one I knew seemed to care about society and fairness. They only thought about white privilege (without actually calling it that), looking like a good Christian, and never trusting a Democrat. I had to hide the fact that I was leaning so far to the left at this time. 

Living in a southern state, smack in the bible belt with the Confederate flag displayed on tattoos, the back glass of the pick up truck, front plate on most likely a pick up truck and a cross hanging from the rear view mirror, you know where loyalty lies. I actually went to an all white/native American school and had never been integrated with any diversity until college. There are still so many public schools in the south like that today. My first real interest was civil rights and studying the Civil War. I wrote paper after paper on these topics and remember at that time there was no Internet so you had to know how to actually research by using the dewy decimal system at the University library. My eyes were opened to so much during this time. I also found that I couldn't talk about these new exciting subjects to family or others in the community. The mention of anything that went against the grain was offensive and ignorant. It didn't matter if what they believed was wrong and could be proven, they believed what they believed. 

The subject of the Democratic party was so new to me that I tried to learn all I could about it. I registered to vote and actually became a Democrat. Of course I couldn't admit that to my family and I kept it top secret until very recently.Over the years it has been so hard to keep my mouth shut about certain fallacies I've heard coming from my families living room or dining room discussions. I have to hear how ignorant Democrats are and they should all die. Oh, and you can't forget the big reason that Democrats are hated.....GUN CONTROL and THEY'RE COMING TO GET OUR GUNS. This may be one of the biggest fears I've heard from right wing Republicans so far. They are so worried that the damn liberals are going to make it so they can't have their 2nd Amendment Right and buy as many automatic guns that they want because  you know that is what the Constitution said they could do. It is outrageous that anyone could even possess a  machine gun in this country other than our military. There is absolutely no need for that kind of gun, period, unless you plan on doing a mass killing. That, of course can't be talked about in a Red state. Red state's believe in Guns, hunting, killing all abortion doctors in clinics, taking out the planned parenthood, and doing away with welfare. The funny thing about it is that there should be gun control. I don't understand how it should be okay for anyone to buy a gun legally if they have a mental health issue. PERIOD. I don't have a problem with hunting as long as it is not for sport and I hate poaching. Death to anyone is wrong, so the mention of killing abortion doctors is so offensive. The suggestion that Planned Parenthood should be stopped doesn't make sense to me either, considering only a very small portion of the services done are abortions, but help the growing poverty class get health care services. Oh, and we can't forget welfare.....this one actually cracks me up because the major receivers of welfare are big corporations. So, yeah....all of these topics are so contradictory with being a conservative right wing Republican. And I, the lone Democrat around cannot say anything against these issues for fear it may piss someone off just enough to get myself shot. 

Being a Liberal in a Red State is lonely. There are a few of us around but you just run into them or meet them by chance because we can't announce it. I just rub my lucky voting card for good luck occasionally and have a fight in my head with the outrageous ignorance. I steer clear of anyone sporting a rebel flag, keep my opinions to myself so I don't cause someone a stroke and hope like hell the next President of the United States is another Democrat because I know even with my happy vote my state is a Red State and he or she will not be getting the electoral vote.